peachesinacan:

jennifermatarese:

snowdarkred:

andromeda-reinvented:

somewhatdorky:

ageotropic:

justabaddreammama:

ineedmagichands:

Magician James Galea’s Unbelievable Trick

wat

THE FUCK KIND OF BLACK MAGIC DID I JUST WITNESS?!

Now that is a magic trick

what

the fuck

how

what

BUUUUUUUURN THE WITCH!

I have no idea what the fuck just happened there.

ealperin:

^THIS HAS BEEN AN ELLEN DEGENERES APPRECIATION POST.^

thatneedstogo:

Portia & Ellen warm and fuzzies

“Bic, the pen company, have a new line of pens called, “Bic: for her”. This is totally real. They’re pens just for ladies.

They come in both lady colors, pink and purple. And they’re just like regular pens, except they’re pink, so they cost twice as much… That is absolutely true.

I was reading the back of the pack— well, i had a man read the back of the package to me, and it said it’s, “designed to fit a woman’s hand”. What does that mean? So when we’re taking down dictation from our bosses, we’ll feel comfortable, and forget we’re not getting paid as much? (x)

Ellen is one of my favorite people.

nikolascarbone:

Ellen DeGeneres was the “worst-case scenario.” She would expose me as being gay. She would force me to live a truthful, honest life, to be exactly who I am with no pretense. I thank God for her every day.I highly recommend inviting the worse-case scenario into your life. I met Ellen when I was 168 pounds and she loved me. She didn’t see that I was heavy; she only saw the person inside. My two greatest fears, being fat and being gay, when realized, led to my greatest joy, and yet I tried so hard to present myself as anything other than who I am. And I didn’t just one day wake up and be true to myself. Ellen saw a glimpse of my inner being from underneath the flesh and bone, reached in, and pulled me out.”

— Unbearable Lightness by Portia De Rossi

pigsdonthaveeyebrows:

soldierofsolitude:

Ellen Reads ‘50 Shades of Grey’

jesus christ

kissedmequiteinsane:

green-suspenders:

This makes me smile!

Her profile picture on Facebook!

SUCH PROUD MAMA FEELINGS

fydarrencriss:

Darren Criss & The Warblers Rehearse “Teenage Dream”

orderofthestarkid:

pink-wayfarers:

tellyleung:

cracktastic:

wellfiddledeedee:

I love him.

Youtube version for anyone who needs it

Jeez. Oh shucks. Oh this is natural.

Oh my god Curt.

 well shit i forgot about this hello i love you all

therizinosaur:

donotruinthemood:

mylovely-astronaut:

“THAT IS SO RUDE!” bahahahahahahah

 I can’t even count how many times I’ve watched this.

 This is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time.